Happy New Year!

1 01 2010

Hello again, lifeless drones who read my blog! I’ve been messing around in Flash MX 2004 a bit lately, so I decided to ring in the new year with a sharp new header for the site! To the completely uninformed, perhaps it just looks like a jumble of shapes. Perhaps some of you think it has something to do with Megaman X. But I’m sure the sharpest imaginary character out there knows that we’re ushering in the year MMX; 2010! Good for you, lifeless drone.

Who knows, perhaps I’ll actually get this blog running in 2010, and then my audience won’t by composed of lifeless drones. Until then,

Night





Testing post by email

23 12 2009

I just wrote this post in Gmail. How’s it look, fictional people who read my blog?





Of Weasels and Watchmakers

28 10 2009

Welp[it's a word, portmanteau of well and yup], the results on the poll are unanimously saying video game review right now. Well, one person said they like waffles, but OTHER than that, video game review. As such, I’ve started working on that, and you should see it before the end of the week. I’m not sure what game it’s gonna be, but it’ll probably be an SNES game, since I have the equipment I need to record SNES video.

ANYWAY, my main reason for this post was so I could share the story I came up with in the shower[that's right, the shower.]. The title, as you can see, is “Of Weasels and Watchmakers”[A pun on 'Of Mice and Men'].Weasels and watchmakers, how do those fit together? Let’s find out…

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It was a bright and sunny night. Lord Reginald Von Trachtenmire stood upon his balcony, pondering this oddity. His thoughts were interrupted by the arrival of his servant, Jepper, with his glass of brandy. Lord Reginald sipped it slowly, until it was rapidly ejected from his mouth as he realized the answer. His time to consider it was brief though, as he had to dash into the manor. He could hear irate voices as his previously enjoyed brandy rained down upon the ladies in the garden.

“Oh, Jepper?” He called out.

“Yes, Master Reginald?” Came the polite reply.

“Jepper, please bring the ladies some towels, along with some caviar and… a 1763 vintage.”

“Right away, Master Reginald. Will that be all?”

“Yes. Now hop to it!”

Lord Reginald sat back in his chair as Jepper exited quietly. The conclusion he had reached was that it was not in fact night, but rather his pocket watch was simply off. Exactly how this happened was now the conundrum. Lord Reginald pondered this, sipping what remained of his brandy.

Then it hit him. Not so hard as to expel his brandy once again, but hard none the less. He had taken his pocket watch to the watchmaker a fortnight past to have it repaired. It had been only yesterday that the repairs were completed. Lord Reginald remembered that his repaired watch had shown the time to be a few hours earlier than the watchmaker’s predicted finishing time, so Lord Reginald bestowed upon him a handsome bonus. But now his ruse had been revealed.

The quietening of voices outside told him that Jepper had done his job quite nicely.

“Jepper!” He called out.

There was the sound of a man, no longer in the prime of his life, running up the stairs. This was quickly followed by a “Yes, Master Reginald?”

“Jepper, have a box of citrus fruit prepared for the town watchmaker.”

“With a weasel inside, I presume?”

“Yes, Jepper. Try to find a male, if possible.”

“Yes, Master Reginald.”

“Oh, and Jepper?”

“Yes, Master Reginald?”

Please remember the air holes this time, Jepper. That is all.”

“Of course, Master Reginald.”

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Now, this story has a number of morals. Let’s see which one my readers think is the best, shall we?

Oh yeah. Please note that I DO NOT endorse sending boxes of citrus fruits and weasels to your enemies. Should you find such a thing necessary, however, I DO endorse adding air holes to your box. A suffocated weasel is far more creepy than it is painful[And of course the whole cruelty to animals is bad thing.]. Well, until next time,

Shardwing, out.





On Responsibilities, and the Shirking Thereof

19 07 2009

Ugh. I’m really stressed today, and in no state to write up a good post. To that end, here’s the President of the United States of America to distract you:

That is all.





The Magistrate has Reached a Verdict…

18 07 2009

…Even if I have nothing to say, I’m gonna post every day! Hey look, I rhymed. Anyway, like I said, gonna post everyday. Hopefully we’ll get to a point where I can post every day and say something useful, but things were kinda hectic today… Stick around, though. I have revived this blog, and I’ll darn well stick to my commitment! That is all.





From the Vault: What’s in a Name?

17 07 2009

I’ve once again wasted away the day with Pendragon and television, so I’ll give you guys another taste of that which lurks within the vault. Today I bring you a short post on the various ways that the word ‘name’ can be anagrammatised, stemming from the question, “What’s in a name?” Let’s find out, shall we?
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Original Title: What’s in a name?
What’s in a name?

Amen – The end of a prayer.

Mane – Ring of fur on the neck of a lion[or other such animal].

Mean – What one is trying to convey, or the opposite of kind.

E-Nam – A war fought in by every E-veteran worth his salt[Romans,salary, paid in salt. THE MORE YOU KNOW.] . Nowadays, all the n00bs just fight in E-Raq…

E-Man – Something you can’t call yourself unless you fought in E-Nam.

Mena – Swedish for ‘to mean or convey’. Also, a convenient misspelling or mean.

Nema – It’s an ‘urban-type settlement’ in Russia. Go figure.

N a m e – What you get when you read between the lines.

Name – a special version of name that only drunk people can see[slightly blatantly stolen from the webcomic Questionable Content...].

Mnea – Okay, now you’re just making things up!

So now you know, just what is in a name. Until next time,

Shard
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Dude, you left out the word name itself…. Nice one. If you guys have anything else to say about what’s in a name, leave it in the comments. That’s all for now.

Shard





And lo, I doth Venture Forth from Mine Lair…

16 07 2009

I have spent many, MANY hours today reading a book. It is not often I do such a thing, but nor is it often that I read such a book! What book, you ask? Pendragon Book 9: Raven Rise, by D.J. MacHale. I’d read the first eight Pendragon books, but it wasn’t until yesterday that I got my hands on book nine, and not until today that I cracked it open. I’m not gonna go into too much detail, since I don’t feel like doing a book review, I just wanted to check in here to reinforce my commitment to this blog. Plus, the book is waaay to far into the series for me to discuss it without robbing people of the experience of reading the story from the beginning. Go pick up book one today. As in now. Seriously, go!

Shard

WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?!





Don’t Get Lost: A User’s Manual to Shards of Infinity, Part 1

15 07 2009

Okay. Starting today, I’m gonna do a series of posts to familiarize my readers with the features of this blog. To start with, I’m going to highlight a feature that’s not only important on this blog, but all over the internet: the RSS feed.

Really Simple Syndication, or RSS, feeds are a really simple way to keep track of updates on your favorite sites. The RSS feed for SoI is down in the bottom right-hand corner, in the section marked ‘Meta’, but to simplify it, you can just click this oversized RSS button:
RSS

So, if you’re familiar with RSS feeds, you’ll probably know what to do. If not, I’ll try to help a little. If you have a Google account, such as Gmail or something else, that means you have a Google Reader account too. Once you set up Google Reader, you can view all the RSS feeds you have from there. And if you use iGoogle as your homepage, you can view Google Reader from there, or even set up a box on your homepage exclusively for Shards of Infinity! If you guys out there have any other tips for people new to RSS feeds, do them a favor and leave a comment.





Stereophonic, Headphonic, Mnemonic

15 07 2009

I got new headphones today, since my old pair were past their prime. Now, I’m not much of an audiophile, but I was surprised at how much better this pair sounded. The tones were sharper, and the bass was much more evident. My other pair, like a number of its precursors, had gotten to the point where sound only came through the right channel unless I bent the cord just right. It was REALLY bothersome…

I was hoping I could find another pair like them, but the store was all out. I ended up springing for a more expensive pair of Maxell “Jelleez” for about 8 bucks. I can’t say I like the name, but the product’s great. The sound is clear, they fit in my ears perfectly, and they don’t have those annoying foam covers that I always lose… After taxes it actually came to $7.76, pretty close to the jackpot. Maybe next time, eh?





From the Vault: Putting the ‘C4′ in Cetacean

14 07 2009

Well, like I said, I’m gonna dredge up remnants of the old blog for use here. The first of these is a post about the aforementioned exploding whale. It was originally published on November 12th, 2008. Oh, and because it’s outdated, I have made adjustments in editor’s brackets [ '[' and ']‘, for the uninformed] where necessary.
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Original title: YOU MANIACS! YOU BLEW IT UP! OH, DAMN YOU! GODDAMN YOU ALL TO HELL! Read the rest of this entry »