Of Weasels and Watchmakers

Welp[it’s a word, portmanteau of well and yup], the results on the poll are unanimously saying video game review right now. Well, one person said they like waffles, but OTHER than that, video game review. As such, I’ve started working on that, and you should see it before the end of the week. I’m not sure what game it’s gonna be, but it’ll probably be an SNES game, since I have the equipment I need to record SNES video.

ANYWAY, my main reason for this post was so I could share the story I came up with in the shower[that’s right, the shower.]. The title, as you can see, is “Of Weasels and Watchmakers”[A pun on ‘Of Mice and Men’].Weasels and watchmakers, how do those fit together? Let’s find out…


It was a bright and sunny night. Lord Reginald Von Trachtenmire stood upon his balcony, pondering this oddity. His thoughts were interrupted by the arrival of his servant, Jepper, with his glass of brandy. Lord Reginald sipped it slowly, until it was rapidly ejected from his mouth as he realized the answer. His time to consider it was brief though, as he had to dash into the manor. He could hear irate voices as his previously enjoyed brandy rained down upon the ladies in the garden.

“Oh, Jepper?” He called out.

“Yes, Master Reginald?” Came the polite reply.

“Jepper, please bring the ladies some towels, along with some caviar and… a 1763 vintage.”

“Right away, Master Reginald. Will that be all?”

“Yes. Now hop to it!”

Lord Reginald sat back in his chair as Jepper exited quietly. The conclusion he had reached was that it was not in fact night, but rather his pocket watch was simply off. Exactly how this happened was now the conundrum. Lord Reginald pondered this, sipping what remained of his brandy.

Then it hit him. Not so hard as to expel his brandy once again, but hard none the less. He had taken his pocket watch to the watchmaker a fortnight past to have it repaired. It had been only yesterday that the repairs were completed. Lord Reginald remembered that his repaired watch had shown the time to be a few hours earlier than the watchmaker’s predicted finishing time, so Lord Reginald bestowed upon him a handsome bonus. But now his ruse had been revealed.

The quietening of voices outside told him that Jepper had done his job quite nicely.

“Jepper!” He called out.

There was the sound of a man, no longer in the prime of his life, running up the stairs. This was quickly followed by a “Yes, Master Reginald?”

“Jepper, have a box of citrus fruit prepared for the town watchmaker.”

“With a weasel inside, I presume?”

“Yes, Jepper. Try to find a male, if possible.”

“Yes, Master Reginald.”

“Oh, and Jepper?”

“Yes, Master Reginald?”

Please remember the air holes this time, Jepper. That is all.”

“Of course, Master Reginald.”


Now, this story has a number of morals. Let’s see which one my readers think is the best, shall we?

Oh yeah. Please note that I DO NOT endorse sending boxes of citrus fruits and weasels to your enemies. Should you find such a thing necessary, however, I DO endorse adding air holes to your box. A suffocated weasel is far more creepy than it is painful[And of course the whole cruelty to animals is bad thing.]. Well, until next time,

Shardwing, out.


About Shard

I'm a reader, a writer, a gamer, and various other things.

Posted on October 28th, 2009, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Fool a rich man, get a citrus weasel? ^^; I laughed reaaaaally hard.

  2. That’s good, lol. I reposted this in honor of its one-year anniversary, though I forgot to label it at all.

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